I received an email from a friend a couple of days ago and she asked, “What do you want to find on your journey?” I realized that I wasn’t able to answer the question directly. Here was my answer:
Your question is interesting. I think part of going on a pilgrimage is the letting go of “want.” I don’t find myself going out to look for something so much as to shed something. I feel like the snake that has to shed his old skin. I think what I want is to shed any behaviors, attitudes, commitments, expectations, dreams, obligations, understandings, etc. that no longer serve me well or are part of my essential identity. I feel like I am going out to let go and see what is still left.
One of the things about the physical challenge of this is that you have to pare down to the bare essentials, rely mostly on your own strength and will, and learn how and when to reach out for help. It is in this process that I imagine I won’t be the same person I was when I began. On the other hand, I suppose I could come back completely crushed by the experience! That is the risk!
The tag line for this trip is “Looking for God, Seeking the Sacred.” Yet, I don’t feel like I am going out to find God somewhere “out there.” I feel more like I am going out to shed any layers of self or ego and will hopefully discover the sacred “in here” in the center of who I am.